Happiness Step No 1
Happiness Step No 2
Happiness Step No 3
Go back to Happiness Step No 1
How did it go? You feeling happy? Not quite there yet? Do we need to start again? Go on, I dare you – try it once more. If you are feeling blue or angry or scared, it’s hard to suddenly ‘change state’ and feel or be happy, isn’t it? Well, no actually, it’s very easy. You just need to know how. Some people know this already, and some people need a little practice.
REAL Happiness Step No 1
You are happy. Just as you are sad, confused, angry, elated. Happiness is a state of mind, not something to achieve. You can feel and be happy at any given moment. It’s simply a choice. You may not to be able to change certain things that happen around you, but you DO get to choose how you feel about them. You do get to choose the level of feelings you have about anything that happens around you. So step one is simply to choose to feel happy.
REAL Happiness Step No 2
Happiness is relative. Relative to what? Your state of contentment. You have many aspects of your life, many roles you play. Father, sister, friend, son, colleague, boss, team player, wife. Some areas fair better than others in any given moment. Let’s look at career/ business on a scale of 1-10.
How would you score your level of happiness with how your career / business is heading right in this moment? 1 being extremely unhappy, and 10 being “I really could not increase my level of happiness with my work right now.”
Now score these other areas also:
Social Life, Finances, Professional development, Love/Romance, Spirituality, Family
Do you have any other specific areas of your life you can add?
With all your numbers set for the different areas of your life, is there any correlation between any of those scores and your level of happiness with work/career?
Finance, perhaps? Or professional development? Perhaps you feel because your financial status is not as healthy as you would like, then your work/business is not doing well. There is spillage from one area in your life to another, simply because they are connected.
One state can influence another
Now think about the actual work that you do. Does it give you pleasure? Yes? Then your career/business grading is probably too low. Your level of contentment with finances (or professional development) is influencing your level of contentment with your work/business.
Perhaps a business partner is causing conflict and this is influencing how you feel about work and finances, and indirectly affecting your relationships outside of work. By sitting down and really asking yourself “how do I feel?” about each specific area of your life, you can get a clearer picture of where you are truly happy, and areas that need some tweaking.
It’s all relative!
REAL Happiness Step No 3
This is a physical step, so bear with me. Think about something that is making you concerned or discontented right now. Don’t go too far into a level of unhappiness that may trigger you to stop reading this. Let’s start with something not too heavy. You can develop on this technique later, to work on more serious issues in your life.
Read the next paragraph in its entirety – then do it:
Stand up and close your eyes. Touch your toes (or knees) and from your belly up, physically force a physical ecstatic feeling, starting with a low level and rising right up to a physical squeal of joy as you raise your hands and stretch them as high as possible above your head – repeat the word YES over and over again in your head until you feel like bursting!!!
Open your eyes, and notice how your body feels. Notice how you feel inside. You have just used a physical experience to rapidly change your state of mind. It is impossible for this not to have the desired effect.
If you find it difficult to bring yourself through this step – listen to this recording I prepared so you can apply the technique as you listen.
You now know how to very quickly change your state – both physically, and mentally. It’s similar to when we suddenly get a fright – we physically change state – and this immediately changes our mental state. For example, if you are walking down the street and suddenly a cat jumps out of a doorway in front of you. You are no longer thinking the same thoughts, you are thinking of the cat – and then thinking about what a fright you got. You then might return to your previous thoughts, or remain distracted by the cat. He might be a stray and you are concerned about his welfare.
The exercise above has the same effect – it changes your state enough to allow you to change focus. What you do next is up to you. How you feel next is up to you.
Glass half full
By changing state consciously in this ecstatic way, you are sending a very clear message to your subconscious and ultimately to your unconscious mind. This makes you more ‘prone’ to happy thoughts, instead of habitually seeing the negative side of things – glass half full, and all that.
Guilt free happiness
Happiness should never be followed by feelings of guilt. Rather than reverting to guilt because your friend is having a bad day or someone just lost their life in a fire 2000km away, choose to feel gratitude that you are having a good day and empathy for your friend, without allowing their state to pull you down.
- Happiness is a state of mind, not something to be accomplished or achieved.
- You can choose to be happy at any given moment. You can choose how much happiness you want to feel
- You can create a sense of happiness by physically changing state
Happiness as a Habit
Happiness also becomes a habit as you practice it more often. You will be habitually more positive, and look more and more for the good things in your life.
Happiness is not something to be earned. There is no payment. There is no contract. There is no reward. By helping others to increase their happiness, you are making the world a happier place.
If you try the suggestions in this post, please let me know how you get on. Have a very happy week! I know I will 🙂
Every one you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind always. Robin Williams